savagemama

Last spring Eliza asked for a booster seat. She saw one of her friend’s had one and was super excited about the prospect of her own. A seat that didn’t look like a car seat, one that used a real seat belt, one that didn’t look like a baby could ride in it. I told I didn’t think it was a good idea just yet. I talked to her about weight and height limits, repeated what her doctor had said about the safest place for her was in a five-point harness, I said soon, but not just yet. The months passed a few more friends moved into booster seats.

Eliza told me about each one.
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Last night Seth and I sat down to watch a movie. I cruised Netflix while he answered a few phone calls. Opting not to watch something violent or in the “click, click, ding, ding” category that Seth loves where everything is subtext, there are few words actually spoken and the action, well action is a strong word, is caught in glances and whispers, clicks and dings, we settled on a documentary. If you have yet to discover that we are dorks of the first order let there be no doubt with this next statement. We watched a National Geographic documentary. On stress. Seriously. Dorky.
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Monday my hands shook as I clicked publish on Craigslist. We’d made a decision, one we’d hoped was a good one. But I was nervous about it and unsure. We’d been round, weighing our options, over thinking, as Seth and I are prone to do. But we had a decision, consensus, two feet in one world. Publishing it seemed to make in final.

About an hour later I posted to Facebook and this was an all together different experience. A higher level of commitment. I know the people on Facebook, or, at least, some of them. Posting to Facebook felt like the digital equivalent of taking a megaphone to the rooftops and shouting to the world.
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I’ve had a lot of first days. As a kid I switched schools in second, fifth, sixth and seventh grades. By ninth grade I’d switched schools for the last time, my dad having made a promise that I could go to all four years of high school in the same place. While I got used to them, first days were never easy.
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